Pretty Empowerment

I’ve never understood why people apologize for the way they look.
Even before I was sick, I questioned it.
Why are you apologizing for being yourself?
That’s your face. That’s your body. That’s what you look like today.
Getting sick didn’t create this way of thinking in me. I’ve always questioned the things people seem to accept as “normal.”
But being sick made me notice this expectation even more.
Why should I apologize because I look tired?
Why should I apologize because I look sick?
Why should I apologize because I don’t look like a supermodel?
I’m not here to perform being healthy so someone else feels comfortable looking at me.
Some days I’ll look put together. Some days I’ll look exhausted. Some days I’ll look sick. Some days I’ll feel beautiful.
All of those versions are still me.
None of them need an apology.
I’m not going to apologize for being authentic.
And honestly?
I never understood why anyone else felt like they had to either.

I’ve always thought differently.
Even before I was sick, I never understood why people felt the need to apologize for the way they looked.
Why?
That’s you.
That’s your face.
That’s your body.
That’s what you look like today.
Why are you apologizing for being authentic?
Getting sick didn’t create that perspective in me. If anything, it made me question it even more.
Because now I notice how often sick and disabled people feel like they have to explain their appearance, soften it, or apologize for looking exactly how they feel.
You don’t have to look healthy to deserve respect.
You don’t have to look perfect to be seen.
And you definitely don’t have to apologize for being yourself.
Some days I look sick.
Some days I look exhausted.
Some days I get dressed up and feel beautiful.
All of those versions are still me.
And none of them need an apology. 🩷

At first, setting boundaries can feel like you're doing something wrong.
You wonder if you were too harsh.
Too distant.
Too difficult.
Then you realize you weren't asking for too much.
You were just asking the wrong people to understand you.
You don't have to keep explaining your boundaries to people who benefit from you not having them.
Sometimes protecting your peace means becoming unavailable for the things that keep hurting you.
You don't owe everyone access to you just because they had access to you before.
Save this for the next time you start second-guessing a boundary you already knew you needed.

Being Deaf isn't something that needs to be “fixed.”
Sometimes the rude part is the assumption behind the comment. 🤟

Apparently some people think getting a wheelchair means you’re legally required to stay in it 24/7. 😂
Wheelchair users can transfer. We can sit on couches, beds, chairs, floors, and other places in our homes.
The wheelchair is a mobility tool not a permanent attachment to our ass. 😭
And what someone can do outside their wheelchair can vary a lot from person to person. You can’t determine someone’s mobility just by seeing or not seeing their wheelchair.

I Think I’m Ready to Be Seen Differently.

Maybe this is the beginning of something.

I’ve spent a lot of my life explaining myself, explaining what people couldn’t see, and trying to make experiences that felt impossible to explain make sense to other people.

But I’m realizing I don’t want to spend the rest of my life just explaining what happened to me.

I want to talk about what it taught me.

What I see differently now.

What I’m still figuring out.

And what happens when you start rebuilding your life while becoming someone you never expected to be.

So… this is me starting.

No perfect setup. No perfect script. Just me, figuring it out in real time.

Welcome to the beginning of the MJ Era. 🩷

My name is MJ. I’m Deaf and blind, and I live in a body that people often make assumptions about before they actually know my story.
There’s so much more to disability than what you can see.
So here’s your reminder: ask, don’t assume. Listen, don’t label.