Ralph Clarke

"Stop pretending you weren't staring right at my bikini, because if you happen to notice a little extra peeking out this summer, I need you to just mind your damn business. Alright? Because some of us are naturally blessed with a little more softness up front, and not everything is going to fit perfectly into these tiny little swimsuits they're making nowadays. And that's completely natural, okay? These skimpy little bikinis barely cover anything to begin with, especially when you've got a little extra curve in the front. So either enjoy the beach or keep your eyes to yourself.
"

" And if you see a lip poking out of the bikini this summer, just mind your business. Alright? Because some of us have a little bit more fat going on down there. A little bit more roast beef, okay? And it's natural. And the swimsuits they're making nowadays don't cover very much of anything at all. So just deal with it. Or don't go to the beach.
"

"When I'm wearing a dress with nothing underneath, that's when I realize who actually pays attention.

Most people never notice a thing.

But then there's always that one guy who catches the smallest detail without being told.

And honestly? That's terrifying.

Not because he said anything.

But because it reminds me that some men notice absolutely everything.

And once you realize that, you start wondering what else they've picked up on.
"

"I could never get caught up in an ex because my body is a literal walking distraction, and he’s the one who lost his damn mind when he realized he could never handle all this. When you're a natural redhead packing a thick, wild red bush down there, you already know you're absolute trouble. Add in my heavy, bouncing double D's that barely fit inside my shirts, and a massive dump truck that makes everyone stare when I walk away, and it's no wonder I don't have time for his drama. He thought he had me, but he's the one who lost the ultimate prize.
"

It's disgusting that a man licked his finger after eating a pink taco. That's awful. Do it again.

" Men that know how to... When I'm wearing a dress with nothing underneath, You're sick and fu***ng twisted. Call me.
"

" Every single time someone finds out I'm a natural redhead, they have the same question for me. Do I have a red bush ? And the answer is let me show you instead. Because if you're bold enough to ask, then I'm gonna be bold enough to show you.
"

" I could never get caught up in an X because I am a natural redhead with a red bush, double. D's and a massive dump truck. He's the one that lost.
"

" I cannot deal with this new age of dating where people are acting too cool and they? Don't care about the people they're dating. I can't do nonchalant. I need you to be absolutely obsessed with me. I'm talking you want to be with me all the time. You're constantly touching me, tasting me. Because how else am I going to know that you like me?
"

It drives me absolutely crazy when the person I'm with goes completely silent during our most intimate moments. He'll be doing everything right, making me feel incredible, but he's not making a single sound. Come on, I need to hear you! I want you breathing in my ear, letting me know you're just as lost in this as I am. Whisper something that makes my heart race, tell me how much you're enjoying this, or just let out a soft groan so I know I'm driving you wild. Don't just stay quiet when I'm completely overwhelmed with emotion. I need that connection, that raw vocal feedback that tells me we're in this together.