Kathryn Stimpson - The Sensitive Child Sleep Coach

Bert, you were the dog I never knew I needed.

Nothing prepared me for how much it would hurt losing you. I’ve been quiet on here this last week as we said goodbye to Bert.

I’d feared this day for two years. I knew I’d be upset, but I am absolutely devastated.

We had fourteen and a half years together, you came into my life when you were just over one, and you lived to fifteen and a half. From that moment you brought so much joy and so much stress into our lives. Always up to mischief, always plotting your next adventure. You really were the dog with nine lives.

You escaped more times than I can count, being a proper Patterdale, running off was practically a hobby. We left you for just five minutes in my mum’s dog-safe garden, fencing and all, and in that time you’d dug straight under it through the soil and were off on your own adventure for hours, it took the dog lost community to help find you. You got hit by a car and shrugged it off. You chased a cat off a fence and landed bottom-first in a rosebush. You got yourself tangled in barbed wire. We chased you through more woods and fields than I can remember. You even dug yourself under a shed once. Countless adventures, countless grey hairs for me.

The kids loved you so much and miss you every day, each in their own way. Ruby loved taking care of you, always the reassurance of you being there.

We just loved you so much.

I like to think you’re running free somewhere now, off on one more adventure.

Loving you always. 🐾

Not every hard moment is just behaviour.

Sometimes the body is part of the story too.

A child who is struggling might also be:

tired
hungry
overstimulated
dysregulated
needing movement
needing more transition time
needing the world to slow down a bit or speed up
That does not mean every hard moment has a simple fix.

But it does mean behaviour is not the whole story.

This is especially true for many sensitive and neurodivergent children, where sleep, sensory load, movement, food, and the pace of the day can all affect how things feel by the evening.

Sometimes what looks like “too much” is actually a child whose system has had too much.

Which one tends to tip things most in your house - tiredness, hunger, sensory overload, or needing more movement?

If sleep has suddenly felt wobblier lately, you may not be imagining it.

For many sensitive and neurodivergent children, back-to-school starts affecting them before school has even begun.

It can show up as:

more silliness at bedtime
more resistance
more emotional outbursts
clinginess
difficulty settling, even when they are clearly tired

That does not automatically mean your routine is wrong.

It often means your child’s system is already trying to process the change ahead.

When a child feels things deeply, anticipation can show up in the body long before they have words for it.

If this is your house right now, you are not alone.

Which of these signs shows up most in your evenings right now?

I’m learning, slowly, that self-care is not always the glamorous version we get sold.

Sometimes it looks like saying no.
Sometimes it looks like lowering expectations.
Sometimes it looks like doing less.
Sometimes it looks like admitting you’re overstimulated too.

And for parents of sensitive or neurodivergent children, I think that matters more than people realise.

What does self-care actually look like for you at the moment?

Any other self-employed parents out there who experience this specific type of guilt?

Because honestly, even as someone who works in family wellbeing, I’m right in the middle of it.

Last night I had an oh s**t moment. I was reviewing the summer childcare bookings and realised I hadn’t put my son into childcare for today, which was supposed to be a working day.

My very lovely neighbour Rachel very kindly offered to take him out with her sons, who he’s friends with, for the day. Which was brilliant, and he’ll have a great time.

But instantly the guilt hit. Like, should I have cancelled my work for the day and spent time with him instead?

For the record, he’s been in and out of school since January on a part-time timetable, so it’s not like we haven’t had time together. But it never feels enough, does it?

If I’d gone with him, I’d have felt like I abandoned my business. But sitting here working, I feel like I should be with him.

And here’s the bit that confuses me most. If I were employed, there wouldn’t even be a question. I’d just be at work. So why is it different when you’re self-employed?

But also, and I almost feel guilty saying this, I genuinely love my work. As a sleep and wellbeing coach for families, my work is purposeful. It reminds me who I am outside of being a parent.

And honestly, when I’ve had time to work and focus on something that’s mine, I show up better when I come back together with the family at the end of the day.

So it’s not just guilt. It’s guilt mixed with knowing that working is good for me, and therefore good for them too. Which somehow makes the guilt worse, not better.

I spend my days supporting parents of babies through to teens with sleep and wellbeing. I know the theory inside out. But when it’s your own kid, and your own business, the guilt is still real. Even professionals don’t have this fully figured out.

It’s like you can’t win either way.

Other self-employed parents, do you experience this? And employed parents, do you carry the same guilt, or does it feel different?

I want to be honest about something.

For years, the school holidays were the harder season for me. The lack of structure, the constant juggle, the mental load of filling the days.

Term time felt easier by comparison, there was routine, breathing space, a kind of predictability that made life feel manageable.

I remember being that parent. The one counting down to September. The one who found the long summer stretch overwhelming.

But this year, things have shifted.

My children have been in and out of school since January. Term time became the harder part, for them and for all of us. So this summer, with them in childcare doing things they genuinely love for half the week, the holidays actually feel easier.

I never thought I’d be the parent who found holidays easier.

But I think life has a way of changing what feels hard.

If the holidays are feeling hard this year — what’s getting you through?

This wasn’t even for me. It was my son’s classroom snack, school was doing sugar-loaded treats for a movie day, and with his autism and ADHD, sugar just doesn’t work for him.

So I was making him something that would actually help him cope, while spinning about six other plates. I burnt it black. Honestly, it sums up this entire year.

I used to dread the school holidays. Now I dread term time. The holidays have their own challenges, but they’re ones we control, no system, no battles, just us.

This year has been an emotional rollercoaster. My daughter was deregistered three or four weeks ago because her school wasn’t right for her.

We’re now trying to find the right placement for my son too, and the system makes that so much harder than it should be. He has been in and out of school since January.

What people don’t always see is the knock-on cost of unmet needs. It’s financial, the impact on both my and my husband’s businesses. It’s energetic, there’s simply nothing left at the end of most days. It’s our marriage, running on fumes instead of connection. It’s even our relationship with our own kids, stretched thin by survival mode when we want to be present, not just coping.

Add ADHD of my own into that mix, remembering pickups, drop-offs, paperwork, appointments, food that actually meets my kids’ needs — and burnt popcorn on the last day of term feels about right.

If you’re a SEND parent finishing this year running on empty, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. You’re doing an enormous amount, in a system that makes it ten times harder than it needs to be.

Happy last day of term. We made it.

🖤

A lot of parents are not just tired because of broken sleep.

Sometimes it’s the invisible load that sits around it all - the advocating, the school stress, the sensory overwhelm, the constant thinking ahead, and the feeling of carrying too much for too long.

That’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, both personally and professionally.

Sleep matters deeply. Of course it does. But for many families, especially those parenting sensitive, neurodivergent or SEND children, sleep is not always the whole story.

Sometimes the nights are hard because the days are hard too.

And sometimes what families need isn’t another generic sleep tip, but support that understands the bigger picture - the nervous system, the school experience, the family load, and the child in front of us.

What feels most exhausting for you right now - sleep itself, or everything around it?

It’s been a quiet couple of years on here from me, and a lot has changed behind the scenes….

Over the last couple of years, I stepped back from social media to focus on my clients, my family, and life offline. It was the right decision for me, but I’m slowly finding my way back. (More on that soon).

So if you’re new here - I’m Kathryn.

I support families with sleep from babies to tweens, especially where there’s sensitivity, neurodivergence, big feelings, or sleep challenges that need a gentler, more individual approach.

I’m also mum to neurodivergent children myself, and that lived experience deeply shapes the way I work.

Alongside my sleep work, I also support 16+ teens and young adults as a mentor/support worker - particularly those who have struggled in the education system and need a different path to success. That might mean support with confidence, friendships, qualifications, work experience, employment, or sleep. This was actually a big part of my work before I had children, and I’ve found my way back to it organically.

I’m stepping back into this space slowly and gently - sharing more of my work, more support, and more of the reality behind it all.

If you’re still here, thank you. If you’re new here, welcome.

Tell me what parenting season you’re in right now.