Lumpy Potato Lady

Eight years old was a good time

And I feel much better for it.

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Things only people who’ve joined slimming clubs will know:

1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. It might be -3 degrees outside, but you’ll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your t**s off.⚖️

2. You’ve considered weighing-in wearing just a swimming costume.⚖️

3. There’s always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.⚖️

4. You’ll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.⚖️

5. There’s always a Pauline in group who ate 9 sausage rolls at her uncle’s funeral and put on 6 pounds in a week.⚖️

6. You will not eat a thing before weigh-in. Even if weigh-in is at 8pm.

7. You’ll praise a Susan who maintained.⚖️

8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.⚖️

9. Group leader: “You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to.....but you won’t be able to”.
You: “I beg to fu***ng differ, Linda”.⚖️

11. There will always be one lone man called Peter in group who loses 8-9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap you’ll applaud, but you’ll all secretly hate the bastard.⚖️

12. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home....massive sh*t.⚖️

13. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are “better than chip shop chips”. This is bu****it Linda. Bullsh*t.⚖️

14. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.⚖️

15. Linda is no skinny Minnie herself and doesn’t follow the plan. ⚖️

16. Syns/Points don’t count if it’s to help cure a hangover. They also don’t count if you’re eating them off another person’s plate. ⚖️

Dry January hasn’t started in 2025 either…..

T***y tears be gone ….hot hot hot

Gutted for him

Another fantastic night planned!

Least it fits.

My preferred Christmas icon

I’m Popeye the sailor man (toot toot)!