Osy Comedy

Before you do anything silly in the name of cold weather , Always remember one cup of tea ☕️ is cheaper than pampers😂😂😂

👩‍🦰 A wife suspected that her 🧔 husband is ch£atiñg 😒💔 with their maid 👩‍🌾, so she decided to set a tråp 🎯😏 for him.
She secretly sent the maid 🧳🏡 back to the villåge for the weekeñd 🚌 without informing her husband 🤫🧔.
Later that night 🌙✨, the husbåñd said in his usual sty!e 💁🏽‍♂️🗣️:
“Darling ❤️, I want to go and watch wrestling 🤼‍♂️📺 in the sitting ro0m 🏠.”
Then he quietly left 🚶🏽‍♂️😌.
Immediately 😳, the wife tiptoed 🤫🚶🏻‍♀️ into the måid’s r00m 🛏️, lay on the b£d… with no light 💡❌, waiting silently 👀😶.
Soon, the man entered 🚪🧔, closēd the doør softly 🤐, and withøut saying a word 😶… jo!ned her on the b£d 🛌🔥.
Without wasting time ⏳😅… act!0n started 💨💥💃
After the f!fth r0ūñd 😳😳😳
the wife suddenly shouted 🗣️😤:
“IT’S ENØUGH!! 🙄✋ I cåught yøu red-håndēd 😡💔!
So THIS is how you’ve been doing with her 😒🔥?
you will just do tw0 røūñds with me 😤 and say you’re tirēd 😩…
but now F!VE røūñds 😳 and still asking for more?! 😡😡”
Then suddenly 😶…
🧑‍🌾 the gate man replied inn0cēntly 😅👇:
“Sorry madam 🙏😬… I didn’t know it was you.” 😳🤧
💀💀💀
Wife fainted instantly 😵‍💫💔😭

ANOTHER JOKE 😂😂😂
I heard people say pregnant women start nagging around the 5th month... but somebody should explain why my wife's own started the very day she came home with the pregnancy test showing just TWO WEEKS! 🤦🏾‍♂️🤰
That same day, she refused to cook.
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I'm pregnant."
Me: "Two weeks pregnant and you can't cook? 😂😂"
Wrong answer! 😭
She burst into tears and said I was making fun of her condition. Before I could apologize, she had already called my mother. 📞😂
My mum called immediately:
"Young man! Take good care of that woman until she delivers!" 😡👩🏾‍🦳
Just like that, I was promoted from husband to HOUSE HELP. 🧹🍲😂
I couldn't cook before, but I learned by force. 💀
I washed clothes. 🧺 I cleaned the house. 🧹 I became an interior decorator. 🛋️😂
Today she likes the room arrangement... five minutes later she hates it and wants a new design. 😭
Sometimes the AC is on, yet she wants me to stand there fanning her with a hand fan. 🌬️🤦🏾‍♂️
Chai! Me BOOH, I don see things! 😂😂😂
I asked my married friends:
"Guy, is this how pregnant wives behave?"
They just laughed and refused to answer. 😭😂
Fast forward to the 7th month...
That day I did EVERYTHING right. 💪🏾
✅ Took her for a walk. ✅ Bought food. ✅ Cracked jokes all day. ✅ Kept her happy.
No complaints. No nagging.
I was shocked! 😳
That night I prepared hot water in case she wanted tea. ☕ Stocked the fridge with fruits and snacks. 🍎🍇🍌
Then I lay beside her and said:
"Pheew! Finally... peace has returned." 😌😂
I slept happily.
Around 2:00 AM she woke me up.
Me: "Do you want tea?" ☕
Her: "No."
Me: "Fruits?" 🍎
Her: "No."
Me: "Food?" 🍛
Her: "No."
At that point I nearly cried tears of joy. 😭❤️
I said, "Wow! What a beautiful night."
I closed my eyes and continued sleeping.
A few minutes later she woke me again...
Her: "Honey..." 🥺
Me: "Yes dear."
Her: "Do you know that Bovas filling station along poly Road?" ⛽
Me: "Yes... what happened there?" 🤔
Her: "Take me there."
Me: "Why?" 😳
Her: "I want to smell their fuel." ⛽👃🏾🤰
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
At that moment, I became weak!
🏃🏾‍♂️💨💀 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️ ⛽👃🏾🤰 😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣 Pregnancy cravings are on another level!

Ever since I was born, I have never seen a pregnant police woman….
Do they lay eggs 🪺 😩😂😂🤣

If you’re in love with more than one ☝️ person then what is inside you is no longer a heart ❤️ it’s a memory card 😩🤣🤣🤣

Nobody can cook rubbish like last borns. Those creatures can even fry water 😂😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣

When we said we shall shine in 2026 . The sun 🌞 took it personal 😁🤣😂

Once I notice I’m sharing you with others, I will leave you for them, I’m looking for soulmate not a “ hotshot “🥺😩🤣🤣🤣😁

They are ladies who take sleeping so serious that they even apply perfume and lip balm before sleeping .🫢🫢🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😁😁😂