Bvm intimacy

Taking Care of Children Entails a Lot

Many people think that taking care of children simply means providing food, clothing, and shelter. While these are important, child care goes far beyond meeting physical needs.

Taking care of a child entails sacrifice, patience, commitment, emotional stability, financial responsibility, and a genuine love for the well-being of another human being.

A child is not a project that can be abandoned when it becomes inconvenient😳.

Children require consistent attention from infancy through adolescence.

They need guidance, protection, correction, encouragement, and affection.

Child Care Involves Time
Children need parents who are present, not just providers who pay bills.

They need conversations, hugs, listening ears, and quality time.

A child who receives material things but lacks emotional connection may still feel neglected.

Child Care Involves Patience
Children make mistakes.

They spill things, ask endless questions, break rules, and sometimes test our limits.

Raising them requires patience and understanding.

Correction should be done with love and wisdom, not anger and cruelty.

Child Care Involves Financial Responsibility
From feeding and clothing to healthcare and education, children require resources.

Parents should carefully consider their capacity before bringing children into the world.

Responsible parenting includes planning for a child's present and future needs.

Child Care Involves Emotional Support
A child's confidence, self-worth, and emotional health are greatly influenced by how they are treated at home.

Words spoken to children can either build them up or tear them down. Children thrive in environments where they feel loved, valued, and secure.

Child Care Involves Training

Children are not born knowing right from wrong.

They must be taught values, discipline, respect, honesty, kindness, and responsibility.

Good character does not happen by accident; it is intentionally developed over time.

Child Care Involves Protection

Parents and caregivers are entrusted with the responsibility of protecting children from harm, abuse, neglect, and negative influences. Every child deserves to grow in an environment where they feel safe and cared for.

A Lesson for Parents and Caregivers
Before deciding to have children or take responsibility for another person's child, ask yourself:

Am I willing to sacrifice for this child?

Am I emotionally prepared?

Am I ready to provide guidance and care?

Am I willing to love this child even when it is difficult?

Children are gifts from God, but they are also responsibilities entrusted to us.

The way we raise them today will influence the kind of adults they become tomorrow.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him." — Psalm 127:3

When we care for children with love, wisdom, and responsibility, we are not only shaping their future✅💯
we are shaping the future of our families, communities, and society.

What is the difference between a bandit living in the bush and a woman who inflicts unbearable pain on a helpless child?

How can a woman who has carried a baby for nine months, endured labor pains, and experienced the joys and struggles of motherhood turn around and subject a 7-year-old boy to such suffering?

What is the difference between her and the criminals we condemn every day?

Some women can be so cruel that their actions make you question humanity itself.

What shocked me even more is that she has two healthy, well-fed children of her own, yet she treated another woman's child with such wickedness.

And the husband watched without intervention. What a tragic partnership in cruelty.

Women, please, let us learn to manage what we have. Life may be difficult today, but tomorrow can be better.

Even if all you have is garri without sugar, endure it with dignity rather than making an innocent child pay the price for your frustrations.

Watching that boy eat in the video was heartbreaking.

He ate as though his body had forgotten what it feels to be in pain. With all the wounds,he ate as if he is in comfort 😭

One cannot help but wonder: Does he still remember what it feels like not to hurt?

My heart aches for him.
If I had not seen the video myself, I would have dismissed it as artificial intelligence.

It is difficult to believe that a fellow human being 😭especially a woman and a mother🙆could inflict such pain on a child.

Mothers, please give birth to the number of children you can adequately care for.

One well-raised child is far better than five neglected or poorly nurtured children.

Sadly, the days when society collectively helped to raise children are fading.

There was a time when every child belonged to the community, and any adult could correct or protect a child in danger.

Today, that sense of collective responsibility is disappearing.

May God protect every child from wickedness disguised as caregiving, and may He heal every wounded heart.

As a wife, you have spent hours getting ready for an event.

You carefully selected your outfit, did your makeup, applied your favorite perfume, and you are just two minutes away from leaving the house.

Suddenly, your husband looks at you and says, "What kind of dress is this?"

What would you do?

Would you become angry?

Would you insist on wearing it anyway?

What would you do😳😜❓

As a husband, you are fully dressed.

Your tie is perfectly knotted, your shoes are on, and you are ready to leave.

Then your wife says, "No, not this outfit. You need to change."

What would you do?

Would you get offended?

Would you remind her that you're already late?

Would you argue that your appearance is your choice?

what would you do 😁💕💕

Lets hear your thoughts in the comment section

Do Couples Grow Old Together by Chance?

Do You Want To Grow Old With Your Spouse?

Growing old together is not by chance; it is by choice, commitment, and consistent effort.

Many couples stand before the altar and say,

Till death do us part
.but not everyone intentionally works toward that goal.

Growing old together requires more than love; it requires patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, understanding, and daily commitment.

Do You Want to Grow Old With Your Spouse?

This is a question every husband and wife should ask themselves.

If your answer is yes, then your actions today must support that desire.

To grow old together

Choose your spouse every day, even when feelings fluctuate🤣.

Learn to forgive quickly and avoid keeping records of wrongs.

Communicate openly and respectfully.

Support each other through successes and failures.

Pray together and trust God to strengthen your union.

Remember that marriage is not a competition but a partnership.

Every wrinkle, grey hair, and shared memory becomes a testimony of a journey walked together through different seasons of life.

Important To Note👇
Love alone is not enough; commitment sustains love.

Disagreements are normal; how you resolve them matters.

A strong marriage is built daily, not occasionally.

The goal is not just to stay married, but to grow together.

Growing old together is the reward of many years of choosing each other repeatedly.

"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." — Mark 10:9

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor." — Ecclesiastes 4:9

In conclusion
Growing old together is not luck😜😳.

It is the result of two people who keep saying "yes" to each other through life's joys, challenges, disappointments, and victories.

Couples who intentionally nurture their marriage today increase their chances of sitting together years from now, holding hands, grateful that they never gave up on each other. ❤️

THE DANGER OF KEEPING SCORE IN MARRIAGE

One silent killer of intimacy is scorekeeping.

I cooked yesterday, so it's your turn.

I apologized the last time, now it's your turn.

I always call first...you hardly call 🤙

I do more for this family than you do.

I handle the major financial burden of this family

You do nothing but to sleep all day

Many couples are no longer building a marriage; they are keeping records.

The problem with scorekeeping is that it turns spouse into competitors.

Marriage was never designed to be a competition.

When you constantly count who is doing more, you stop appreciating what the other person is contributing.

Instead of asking
What am I getting?

Healthy couples often ask
What am I giving?

This doesn't mean allowing yourself to be used or taken for granted....NO, NOT AT ALL

It simply means understanding that love is not a transaction.

There will be seasons when one spouse gives more because the other is struggling.

There will be seasons when one partner carries more because the other is weak.

That is what partnership looks like.

A husband who is recovering from a setback may need extra support.

A wife going through a difficult season may need extra understanding.

Strong marriages survive because couples focus less on keeping score and more on carrying each other.

At the end of the day, the question is not
Who did more?

The question is:
Did we grow together?

Because when couples stop competing and start collaborating, the home becomes a place of peace, support, and genuine connection.❤️🏡

Question for today 😄

Do you think keeping score in marriage helps create fairness, or does it slowly destroy intimacy? Why?

The Burnt Rice 🍚❤️

One evening, Emeka returned home from work tired and hungry.

His wife, Uju, had also had a long day juggling the children, house chores, and her small business.

She got home..and she rushed to prepare dinner, the rice got burnt😳😳.

The moment Emeka tasted it, he frowned.
What is this? He yelled 😳

You were at home all day and couldn't even cook rice properly?

The words hit Uju like a slap.

At home all day?..How?

Do you think taking care of this house is doing nothing?

Adding to my small business 😳?

Within minutes, voices were raised.

Old frustrations joined the conversation☺️.

The burnt rice was no longer the issue.

As they argued..

Both of them went to bed angry.

No goodnight.
No conversation.
Just silence.

The next morning, the tension remained.

But on his way to work, Emeka kept thinking about the look on Uju's face when he spoke harshly...and decided to work on his ego,to keep it under check

Meanwhile, uju remembered how exhausted he had looked when he came home.

That evening, Emeka came home carrying her favorite snack.

He sat beside her and said
I'm sorry. The rice wasn't really the problem. I was stressed from work and I spoke to you disrespectfully.

Uju's eyes filled with tears.

I'm sorry too. I was already overwhelmed and instead of explaining how I felt, I attacked you back.

For a moment, neither spoke.
Then they both laughed at their foolishness 😂😂

All that fighting because of burnt rice.

Emeka reached for her hand.
Next time, let's talk before we fight.

Agreed, uju replied.

That night, they ate together, talked longer than usual, and felt closer than they had in days.

The Lesson...
Most marital conflicts are not really about the issue on the surface.

Sometimes it's stress.

Sometimes it's exhaustion.

Sometimes it's feeling unappreciated.

The couples who thrive are not those who never argue.

They are the ones who know how to apologize, understand each other, and reconnect after disagreements.

Because in marriage, the goal is not to win against your spouse...or do you argue to win😳😜
The goal is to win together. ❤️🏡

A little communication handles alot

A member wrote 👇
I told my husband that I would wash his clothes when I returned from the market because I needed to open my business early that morning.

He didn't object or say anything, so I assumed he understood and was okay with it.

Unknown to me, he was upset.

A short while later, he came to where I was selling food and, in anger, threw away all the food I had prepared for sale🙆🙆🙆😳😳.

I was devastated.

The painful part is that I borrowed money from a contribution group to start this business.

I am still struggling to repay the loan, and now my goods are gone.

Honestly, that action broke my spirit and I don't know what to do.

I understand that he may have been unhappy about the clothes not being washed immediately, but did the situation really deserve such a reaction?

Am asking now👇👇

Could there have been a conversation instead of destruction?

Marriage is meant to be a place of support, understanding, and teamwork💪👌..not a place where anger destroys what the other person is trying to build.

What are your thoughts?

Was the husband's action justified, or was it an unhealthy way of handling his frustration?..
better still..what should he had done❓.

Let's discuss respectfully in the comment section. 💭👇

The Cup of Tea ☕❤️

One evening, Tunde came home from work looking exhausted.

He barely greeted his wife, Amara, before sitting down quietly.

Amara immediately became upset.
"See him. No smile. No conversation. He doesn't even look happy to see me."

The more she thought about it, the more annoyed she became.

Instead of asking what was wrong, she responded with coldness.

Dinner was served in silence.

Tunde noticed her mood and became frustrated too.

"Now she's angry. What did I do this time?"

For almost two days, both of them were upset.

No major fight.
Just tension.
Just assumptions.
Just two people misunderstanding each other.

Finally, on the third day, Amara decided to communicate instead of assume.

She sat beside him and said:
"When you came home that day, I felt ignored.

It made me think you were upset with me."

Tunde looked surprised.

"Upset with you? Not at all. I had a difficult day at work. We lost a major contract, and my mind was heavy.

I thought being quiet for a while would help me process it."

Amara was shocked.

All this time she thought he was angry with her.

Then Tunde added:
"And when you became cold towards me, I thought you were angry because I didn't buy the groceries you mentioned."

They both burst into laughter.
For two whole days, they had been reacting to stories they created in their own minds.

Not reality.

Just assumptions.

That evening taught them a powerful lesson:
Most marital battles are not caused by bad intentions but by poor communication.

Had they spoken earlier, they would have avoided two days of unnecessary emotional distance.

The Benefits of Effective Communication
💛 It reduces assumptions.
💛 It prevents small misunderstandings from becoming major conflicts.
💛 It builds trust and emotional safety.
💛 It helps couples understand each other's intentions.
💛 It creates peace instead of tension.
💛 It strengthens intimacy and friendship.

Since then, Tunde and Amara made a simple rule:
"Ask before assuming."

Whenever something felt wrong, they talked.

Whenever feelings were hurt, they explained.

Whenever confusion arose, they sought understanding before judgment.

And their marriage became stronger because they stopped fighting each other and started understanding each other.

Because in marriage, communication is not about proving who is right.
It is about helping two people stay connected, understood, and united.

Many arguments end the moment understanding begins. ❤️🏡

"But I Have Been Telling You..." 💔

For months, Sarah kept telling her husband the same thing.
"I miss us."

She wasn't asking for money.
She wasn't asking for gifts.
She wasn't asking for a vacation.

She simply wanted connection.

Every time she brought it up, her husband would respond
"I'm working hard for this family."
"Everything I'm doing is for us."

"Why are you complaining when all the bills are paid?"

Eventually, Sarah stopped talking about it.

Not because the issue was resolved.

But because she felt unheard.
Her husband thought: Problem solved😁🤣.

Meanwhile, the problem had only gone silent.

Months later things got bad, they were sitting in a counseling session when Sarah broke down crying.

She said:
"I wasn't complaining about money.

I was trying to tell you that I was lonely.

I needed your time, your attention, your friendship. I needed you.

For the first time, her husband understood🙆🙆
He had heard her words.
But he had not understood her message.

He was listening to answer.
Not listening to understand.

That day, both of them learned something powerful

Many spouses speak... Few spouses feel understood.

Sometimes a husband says: I'm stressed.
What he really means is: I need support.

Sometimes a wife says: You don't talk to me anymore.
What she really means is: I miss our connection.

If we only react to the words and miss the emotions behind them, communication breaks down.

Necessary Measures for Better Understanding
💛 Listen without immediately defending yourself.
💛 Ask questions before making assumptions.
💛 Repeat what you heard: "So what you're saying is..."
💛 Pay attention to emotions, not just words.
💛 Create a safe space where your spouse can express themselves honestly.
💛 Don't dismiss concerns simply because they don't matter to you.

If it matters to your spouse, it deserves attention.

Final Thought
One of the deepest needs in marriage is not just to be heard.
It is to be understood.

Many marital wounds are not caused by lack of love.
They are caused by feeling unseen, unheard, and misunderstood.

So dear couples...
The next time your spouse speaks, don't only listen to their words.
Listen for their heart.

Because understanding often heals what arguments cannot. ❤️🏡

Everything Rises and Falls on Communication

One of the greatest gifts a couple can give each other is effective communication.

Many marriages are not struggling because there is no love.

They are struggling because there is poor communication.

The truth is, speaking and communicating are not the same thing.

Many people speak, but not everyone communicates.

Speaking is simply expressing words.

Communication is ensuring that the other person understands your message, your intentions, and your heart.

This is where many couples miss it.

When you want to speak to your spouse, do you simply talk, or do you communicate?

Do you enforce your opinion, or do you help your spouse understand your perspective?

Do you listen to respond, or do you listen to understand?

Effective communication is not about winning arguments we keep saying 😳😁.

It is about creating understanding.

A husband may have good intentions, but if his words are harsh, his message may be lost.

A wife may have a valid concern, but if it is communicated through constant criticism, the message may never be received.

Communication requires patience, respect, timing, and emotional intelligence.

It means choosing words that build rather than destroy.

It means asking questions instead of making assumptions.

It means giving your spouse room to express themselves without fear of judgment.

Healthy communication helps couples resolve conflicts faster, deepen emotional intimacy, build trust, and strengthen friendship.

Many problems that grow into major marital crises started as small misunderstandings that were never properly discussed.

A peaceful home is not the absence of disagreements.

It is the presence of healthy communication.

When couples learn to communicate effectively, they do not just stay together longer🌹💕💕they enjoy the journey together.

Remember: Don't just speak.
Communicate.

Don't just be heard. Make sure you understand and are understood. Got it😁