Tina Colston

Healing….

I realized after my first marriage ended I needed to figure me out.

Not fix, but get to know the girl inside, the one that kept looking for love outside of herself.

She thought if she could just find someone that loved her deeply enough, they would take care of her and keep her safe.

I maneuvered like this in the world far longer than I truly want to admit.

But I knew no other way, I wanted my Fred “ Flintstone.”

I started reading and came across a book on codependency back in my 30’s.

I realized how it related to my behavior and so my healing process began.

I had to accept responsibility for my healing and the patterns I was carrying forward.

I had to accept that little girl, she survived the best way she knew how.

One of the hardest parts of my healing was looking at the things I would rather not see.

It would’ve been so easy to blame my father, my children’s father, my circumstances, but trust that, that’s not going to heal anything.

Trust that I almost made that choice, as I am human and sometimes just default to the easier way.

This is healing, it continues…

But each time it presents itself and you are aware and see it for what it is….that’s healing.

No big ending, no warm cozies, just awareness.

Sending Love Always!💞

When s**t goes sideways…

Maybe it’s there to get your attention.

Maybe it’s an invitation.

An invitation to take your power back.

Anytime I look back on my less than desirable moments in life..yes they hurt, but that hurt changed me.

Not to be bitter, not to feel sorry for myself, but to explore who I needed to become.

Sure the human in me had to process those feelings, but how am I going to move forward?

Am I going to surrender to life and choose from there?

Am I going to stay bitter and hurt and choose from there?

I learned from both places, either choice will bring a set of different circumstances, both will require choice.

The more I chose to give my power away, the more painful my reality became.

Because eventually I realized, God wasn’t asking me to control things.

He was asking for me to surrender and trust, that he had his own set of plans.

And that was the difficult piece.

No matter what I thought I needed, he thought differently.

I don’t know why certain things happen.

Why some are so painful, I just know I always have a choice.

Fear, faith. bitterness, control or surrender…

And that’s where choice comes in.

Becoming…taking my power back…

Sending Love Always!💞

Yesterday I wrote about wrestling with what I want versus what God has in store for me.

The knowing that I could do it my way but he has a way of stepping in and redirecting things.

Then as life would have it, I was watching a movie last night and they referred to the book of John.

I woke up thinking I needed to revisit the book of John, so I did.

It reminded me of what I have been writing about.

That maybe I don’t need to know the entire path.

I just need to stay connected, faithful, and continue to listen.

Trust…

Pretty amazing when we stay open.

Sending Love Always!💞

Today I read this…I think I know what’s good for me, but then life seems to know better.

This resonates…

I wrestle a bit with the ideas of where I think I would like to see my life go versus what God may have in store for me.

I was headed where I thought I wanted to be, but then he had other plans.

Now I question the things I think I want, and ask myself different questions surrounding them.

Not because I’m wrong for wanting them but truly looking at why I think I need them.

Because honestly, we can have all the “things” and still not have that feeling of satisfaction.

I can say from my perspective, even back when things were going in the direction I thought they needed to go, there was always something else behind it.

Maybe it’s not so much about arriving, but how we feel actually living.

The peace , love, connection and fulfillment.

Staying present enough to experience life instead of always reaching for more, in hopes it will create happiness.

I know life is more than accomplishments and things.

It’s definitely a feeling and maybe that’s what I’m learning to pay attention to.

Sending Love Always!💞

When your daughter calls Saturday morning from Denver and you both happen to be sipping on a latte with cinnamon…👌🏼

Happy Friday!💞

Happy Birthday Bud!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳

How are you 28 already?🥹

I know right about 28 you were wishing you would’ve listened when I said enjoy living at home!😂😂😂Adulting happens soon enough!

But the beauty in life is we figure it out while living and enjoying it.

So remember to love big and laugh often!!

I love you more than anything and I hope this is your best year yet!!!

Tuesday!

Was driving to the gym in silence this morning…

I noticed fog hovering the long grass and the sun shining down on the dew making everything sparkle.

God is amazing!

Fall carries a beauty of its own.

How nature can make letting go look so effortlessly.

We get to witness the change of colors, the process as the trees let go of their leaves.

They trust to let go without questioning, will they grow back again?

They trust everything is aligning for it to take place.

A knowing…

Even though something is ending there’s something beautiful in the midst of becoming.

Maybe God allows us to watch the unfolding to hold space for a different perspective.

To teach trust “faith” in the letting go.

Truth is, letting go in life certain things happen naturally, but as the begin to let go we tend to grip tightly..

Out of fear of the unknown.

Maybe we can be a little more like nature.

Trust that whatever is falling away, is allowed to fall.

Not that we know what will happen next.

But we trust, we have “faith.”

There’s beauty in letting go and the waiting for the becoming.

Sending Love Always!💞

Well Hello Monday…☀️

Thought you’d never show up!😂

Is it just me or are the weeks flying by?

As I catch my breath and align into this moment.

Reminding myself to stay present, there’s no race to win other than my own…time is the story I create around it.

Reminding myself stillness isn’t laziness, it’s where I hear God.

Reminding myself when the world creates fear of lack, my God is abundant.

Reminding myself if I desire a change I have the power to do so.

Reminding myself just because something once served me, doesn’t necessarily mean it serves me now.

Reminding myself it’s in the surrender where my peace resides.

If you needed a reminder…🫶🏼

Sending Love Always!💞