Green Fairy

When English Becomes a Foreign Language

Sometimes people start speaking different languages when they stop trying to listen.

The words are English.

The sentences are understandable.

And yet somehow, the meaning becomes a foreign language.

Because listening isn't simply hearing someone's words.

It's being willing to understand the world from which those words came.

We hear "I'm hurt" and translate it into "You're attacking me."

We hear "I need you" and translate it into "You're demanding something from me."

We hear "This is how I experienced it" and translate it into "You're saying I'm a bad person."

And suddenly we're no longer having the same conversation.

We're defending ourselves against translations the other person never actually spoke.

Perhaps real listening requires something more difficult than silence.

Curiosity.

The willingness to ask:

"What are you actually trying to tell me?"

Before deciding what their words mean.

Before preparing our response.

Before making their experience fit inside our own story.

Because sometimes the person in front of us isn't speaking a foreign language at all.

We've simply stopped listening deeply enough to understand their language.

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