Hope with Holly

For thousands of years, ancient cultures used sacrifice to deal with guilt, fear, impurity, divine anger, and the unknown. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

Something was wrong, so something had to bleed.

Then Christianity interpreted Jesus’ death through that same ancient sacrificial framework and told people, “Jesus had to die for your sins.”

But did Jesus actually teach that God required his blood before God could forgive us?

Not clearly.

Jesus taught mercy, forgiveness, repentance, compassion, enemy-love, and care for the vulnerable. Yes, the Gospels portray him as believing his death would have meaning for others. But the full doctrine that God required a blood sacrifice because humanity was too sinful to be in God’s presence was developed far more fully by Paul, Hebrews, and later Christian theology.

And that theology does not make logical sense to me.

If God is everywhere, then God is already in the presence of sin.

If God is all-powerful, then God should be able to forgive without violence.

If God is love, then why would suffering and death be required before forgiveness could happen?

Maybe Jesus did not come to convince us that God needed blood.

Maybe Jesus came to show us mercy.

Maybe the cross does not reveal God’s need for violence.

Maybe it reveals what humans, empires, and religious institutions do when truth threatens their power.

They kill the truth-teller.

Then they build theology around the blood.

Women, stop giving trust to men who have only given you words. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

Trust is earned through patterns.
Through consistency.
Through time.
Through actions that match what they say.

Too many of us were raised to be agreeable, forgiving, accommodating, and easy to choose. So we ignored red flags, rushed intimacy, explained away bad behavior, and handed out access before it was earned.

That is not love.
That is desperation.

And desperation will have you licking love from the blade of a knife instead of waiting for love to be offered from a silver spoon.

I know because I have been that woman.

I wanted so badly to be chosen that I stopped asking whether the man in front of me was even worthy of choosing.

Your diva era begins when you stop asking, “How do I get him to want me?” and start asking, “What has he consistently shown me about his character?”

Choose yourself.
Watch patterns.
Believe actions.
Keep your eyes open.

Access to you is earned.

I love the Fourth of July. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

I love the food, the fireworks, the family, the friends, the summer air, and the feeling of being together.

But loving this country does not require me to lie about it.

America was founded with beautiful promises about freedom and equality while excluding women, enslaving Black people, and taking land and freedom from Indigenous people. And generations of people have had to fight, protest, bleed, and die to make those promises apply to more than wealthy white men.

So yes, I am grateful to have been born here.

And yes, I am deeply disappointed in what this country has chosen, what it has tolerated, and how quickly some people are willing to sacrifice the rights and dignity of others.

Both things can be true.

Patriotism is not pretending America is perfect.

Patriotism is telling the truth about where we came from, protecting the people still being harmed, and demanding that this country live up to the ideals it claims to believe in.

So today, I will celebrate the people I love, the freedoms worth protecting, and every person who has fought to make America better than it was in 1776.

Happy 250th birthday, America.

You are old enough to hear the truth.

And young enough to do better.

Some men are comfortable with male anger because they read it as strength, authority, and leadership. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

But female anger? That gets labeled “crazy,” “bitter,” “emotional,” or “out of control.”

Why?

Because an angry woman is not just expressing emotion. She is making a judgment. She is saying:

I see what is happening.
I know it is wrong.
My voice matters.
And I expect change.

That is threatening to men who were taught that women should be agreeable, supportive, quiet, and accommodating.

They are comfortable with women comforting them.

They are not comfortable with women confronting them.

Healthy men do not need women to stay silent in order to feel powerful.

Only fragile masculinity experiences female anger as a threat.

Remember, ladies, well-behaved women rarely make history.


Dear Monty Fritts, You are free to believe Christianity is the only true religion. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

You are free to preach it, practice it, and invite other people to follow Jesus.

But you are not free to use the government to ban mosques, silence Muslim prayers, outlaw other religions, or force your version of Christianity on everyone else.

That is not religious freedom.

That is Christian nationalism.

And it is deeply inconsistent with Jesus.

When people rejected Jesus, he let them walk away.

When his disciples wanted to destroy a Samaritan village for rejecting him, Jesus rebuked them.

When rulers used power to dominate people, Jesus said, “Not so with you.”

Faith that must be forced by law is not faith.

And politicians who reject the First Amendment while calling themselves “America First” are not defending America. They are attacking one of its most basic freedoms.

Religious freedom must protect Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, pagans, atheists, and everyone else—or it is not religious freedom at all.

Caution is not trauma.

Caution is wisdom. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

Men will protect their money, their business, their property, and their reputation with due diligence — but somehow expect women to hand over access to our bodies, time, emotional energy, and safety after a few good conversations.

No sir.

Trust is not built through pressure.
Trust is built through patterns.

If a man gets offended because you want to slow down, observe, and actually get to know him before giving him boyfriend-level access, that tells you something.

A healthy man won’t shame your caution.
He’ll respect it.

Because he would want the same wisdom for his daughter, sister, or best friend.

Women are not “guarded” because we hate men.
We are cautious because we understand risk.

And if your need for instant access is stronger than your respect for her safety, you are not ready for a relationship.

You are ready for control.

Slow down.
Vet carefully.
Watch patterns.
Protect your peace.

A man who is safe will not rush you out of your wisdom.

Love Island USA season 8 is entertaining, but it is also a masterclass in how emotionally immature people sabotage relationships. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

The biggest lesson? New does not mean better.

Some people confuse novelty, dopamine, and instant chemistry with compatibility. A new person walks in, they feel excited, and they assume those feelings mean they have found something “better.” But fireworks are loud, bright, and over quickly.

A healthy relationship is more like a fireplace.

It may build more slowly, but it becomes warm, steady, and sustainable because both people keep adding trust, honesty, consistency, and effort.

This season also reminded us:

Pay attention to how someone talks about you when they want somebody else.

Being chosen after the other options disappear is not the same as being intentionally chosen.

Exploring other connections does not require lying, hiding information, triangulating people, or humiliating your partner.

And attraction is not emotional capacity.

The real question is not just, “Do they like me?”

It is:

Can they handle temptation, discomfort, conflict, and attention from other people without becoming deceptive, reckless, or disrespectful?

Chemistry may start a relationship.

Character, honesty, and emotional maturity are what sustain one.

Stop chasing fireworks.

Look for someone willing to build a fireplace with you.

Healthy relationships are not conflict-free. The real question is: What happens after the hurt?

Human behavior includes mistakes, defensiveness, and misunderstandings. Disrespect minimizes your feelings or avoids accountability. Abuse is a pattern of power and control that uses fear, guilt, punishment, isolation, or manipulation.

Ask yourself:

Can I tell the truth safely?
Are my boundaries respected?
Does this person care about the impact, apologize, and change their behavior?
Am I allowed to be a separate person?

Safe people are imperfect, but they repair. Unsafe people repeat harm and use conflict to control you.

Do not judge a relationship by one painful moment—but do not ignore a pattern.

Being with a dismissive-avoidant man can feel deeply lonely because the relationship may look functional from the outside while feeling emotionally empty on the inside. Follow Hope With Holly for more.

He may work hard, handle responsibilities, provide financially, or seem calm and independent. But emotional closeness can feel difficult to access.

He may avoid vulnerable conversations, shut down when you express hurt, become irritated by normal relationship needs, pull away after intimacy, or treat affection like something that should happen only on his terms. He may seem warmer with friends, coworkers, or strangers than he is at home, because public connection feels less emotionally demanding than private intimacy.

Many avoidant men learned that needing people is weakness, emotions are dangerous, and dependence means losing control. Male socialization can reinforce this by teaching them to solve, provide, suppress, and detach instead of opening up and connecting.

The partner on the other side may start feeling needy, unattractive, annoying, or impossible to love. She may work harder, ask for less, become more useful, and silence her own needs just to keep the peace.

That is how you can end up in a relationship and still feel emotionally single.

And to be clear, not every quiet, introverted, independent, serious-faced, or less-affectionate man is avoidantly attached. Secure people can need space too.

The difference is that a secure partner still cares about your experience. He communicates, compromises, repairs, shows appreciation, and helps create closeness that works for both people.

Avoidant attachment says, “Your need for closeness feels like pressure.”

Secure attachment says, “Your needs matter, and mine matter too. Let’s figure this out together.”

You do not need constant attention. But you should not have to beg for warmth, affection, reassurance, or emotional presence inside your own relationship.