Urban Ascension

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Urban Ascension

This week long waiting period between embryo transfer and blood test confirming pregnancy is interesting. Happening in the middle of Easter there was already a lot going on, and on top of that I’ve had a really busy week, including reveling in the 40th surprise party for the little sister of my bestie (who won’t even see this post because she’s never on social media but she would like it to be known that she is the photo credit for this pic 😂) yesterday.
So, I hadn’t followed up on what happened with the other two embryos that were warmed and fertilized (I had three on ice from an egg collection in 2018) until this morning. NEWS FLASH 🚨: Neither of them survived! This isn’t a shock for one of them, who we already knew was underperforming during the five day cell division process, but the other one was going strong. I was quietly confident that I’d have at least one more shot at a transfer if this current one didn’t work, or a potential sibling if it did. But no, folks, it’s not to be. The other little embryo wasn’t deemed viable.
So here we are, two days away from my blood test, now with the news that if this doesn’t work we’re not really sure what will. I’m actually glad I didn’t follow up until now because not knowing has allowed me to maintain a really positive headspace. Now the challenge is to maintain that headspace with this new understanding. Thankfully I have a fun trip to Sydney tomorrow to take my mind off it but damn, this IVF journey is a RIDE.

It’s been a bit of a week… the high of actually making it to the egg collection phase (some women do all the injections and don’t end up with follicles big enough to even have a retrieval), the surprising higher high of actually getting four eggs, and then the crashing low of only two of those eggs being mature enough to fertilize, but neither of them surviving the process. And pretty much all of that happened in 24hours… woof. Words cannot explain.
But, what was reassuring is my own ability to ride the wave. I kept a little journal of what I went through emotionally while doing the injections, which I’ll talk about on the this week, but despite the radical shifts in desire to have a baby that I’ll share with you, I was able to hold my center, observe myself in the moment, and know that none of the feelings I was feeling were real. I allowed them to be there, because they were, but I didn’t let them define my day.
Then the wild 24hrs that abruptly ended this whole adventure for me. First I felt shock, and then the loss settled in. I cried and let myself grieve. I felt lost, and sad, and let my fears of never becoming a mother have their moment in the sun, and then I moved on.
I realized that if I wasn’t pregnant I could start high impact exercise again, I could turn all my energy back to my creative projects, I could eat as much chocolate as I wanted without being vigilant about my blood sugar levels (recovering sugar addict over here), and while none of these things could replace the joy of motherhood, they all make me pretty damn happy day to day. And of course, the understanding that this is just the beginning of my journey to being a mama, not the end, helped a whole lot too.
And you know the other thing that helped? A freaking good book. In the last pic you’ll see me reading ‘A Man Called Ove’, and while it took me a while to get into it, once I was, I was so enamored by this novel. Stories capture our imaginations, which in turn inspire our hearts and fill us with hope. This book has been holding that space for me this week, and for that, I am extremely grateful! A little bit of escapism never hurt nobody🥚🐣💛

Can I get a drum roll pleeeeeease?! 🥁 I feel like I’ve been talking about them forever BUT THE CHAKRA MEDITATIONS ARE FINALLY HERE!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍
Link in my bio if you wanna check them out. Or head to my website at: www. urbanascension.co
I promise they won’t disappoint 😉
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People have been telling me I’m brave for sharing my IVF journey online, considering the low success rate for someone my age, but I find strength in being vulnerable.
Not the kind of vulnerability that requires other people to pick up the pieces, but the kind that comes with the complete transparency of someone who’s faced down their demons and doesn’t mind being seen because they have nothing left to hide. There’s no ‘ugly’ little part of me I’m afraid will be rejected if it surfaces. No one can reject me anymore because I’m no longer rejecting myself.
This wasn’t always the case, even until very recently. One of the biggest negative ‘stories’ I had to surrender around this process was feeling like the ‘loser’ who couldn’t surmount her trauma in time to call in a partner to join me on this journey. But healing takes the time it takes, and, ironically, it’s this IVF process that has initiated some of the deepest parts of it for me.
So, here we are. There’s no guarantee this will end up with the outcome of a baby, but what is guaranteed is that I will be walking forward with myself, my heart, my intuition, my creativity, my integrity, my intelligence, my sensitivity, my sexiness, and my humor regardless of the outcome. And I’m ok with that 😉

The Healing Cocoon Podcast page is undergoing a little aesthetic upgrade… welcome to our new color scheme! It may be barely perceptible but we think it’s fresher and more sophisticated 💅🏼
We took a break from our usual podcast scheduling this week to solidify our new look and feel, but will be back as per usual next Tuesday with an exciting episode featuring . If you’ve ever struggled to engage in a healthy and balanced way with your food, this episode is for you! 🍌🥥🥬🍒🍋
AND… I don’t normally feature a guest during my Metamorphosis Chats but next week I have someone VERY special joining me who I can’t wait to introduce you too.
So, stay tuned! 🤎

Branding. No matter what industry we’re in, we’re all trying to refine which parts of ourselves we’re presenting to the world. And no matter what relationship we’re in, we’re all offering ourselves to the other through the filter of what we’ve decided (or been told) defines a valuable human being. But what if you just don’t fit into the box? (Hint: NOBODY fits into the box!).
My whole life I’ve tried on different hats struggling to figure out which one fits best but, guess what, turns out the only beanie that really suits is the one I knitted myself. And what’s more, as I settle into the juiciness of all my uniqueness, my family, friends and community seem to love me more and more… but it ain’t no mic drop to say that’s because I’m loving myself more and more (we all know the drill on this one by now, yah?).
But this is the value of healing and integrating the disowned, confused and fearful parts of ourselves. It’s the ability to become immune to the opinions of others, not out of arrogance, but rather the innate knowing that our energetic signature is erasable and profoundly needed on the planet for reasons only our soul can know and complete.
So throw those damn boxes away my friends, and be ALL OF YOU. And if you don’t know who ‘all of you’ is then make a commitment to find out. Whisper your desire to fully know and embrace yourself to the universe and sit back and watch what happens… hello divine self, goodbye judgement 👋🏼💗💫

🚨 1/2 price distance energy clearing sessions to start fresh in 2023 🚨
If you saw my stories yesterday you’ll know I’m offering six half price ($111 rather than the usual $222) energy clearing sessions between now and the end of the year to people who want to go BIG in 2023!
We set goals to manifest the things we don’t yet have in our lives, so naturally the act of focusing our attention toward these goals brings up all the energy needing to be cleared in order to achieve them. This is where energy clearing can be a huge asset to your manifestation process, because we’ll work together to remove the stagnant energies holding you back from already having the things you’re trying to call in. Because, let’s face it, if you didn’t have any limiting beliefs or programs, you’d probably already have it, am I right (or am I right?!!!)?
So click on the link in my bio to be one of the lucky six people to nab a half price distance energy clearing session and start off 2023 energetically clean, clear and ready to call in your BIGGEST dreams! ✨
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Hi 👋 Something you may or may not know about me is that I write poetry as a creative outlet. It’s always been a safe space for me, the words come easily and I never judge my work. Whether that’s a good thing or not remains to be seen in regards to literary acclaim (I mean, I’m not shooting for the Pulitzer Prize or anything🤣), but the point is, my detachment from writing poetry as a reflection of my capacity as a human is a welcome relief compared to other areas of my art where I battle the inner critic.
So I’ve decided to start sharing my thoughts on healing through this medium because it feels like ‘me’. And, as an online entrepreneur who’s beholden to the algorithm to maintain my business, I’m seeking to make my content as authentic as possible while hopefully inspiring and educating my community as well.
If you’re interested in reading some of my other non-healing related poetry, you can check out , although it’s been a while since I posted on that account, but that’s what the ‘jj’ stands for in the poem I’ve posted here: Jacobie Jane, my middle name.
Writing poetry makes happy. I hope some of that transfers to you in the reading of it 🤍

Retreat life is the good life 🌲🧘‍♀️🛀The profound peace of the forest combined with the beautiful and intentional offerings of , and .nitsche was exactly what I needed to truly unwind and come back to myself. From forest baths, to astrocartography readings, insanely delicious food, to tea ceremonies, yoga among the trees, oracle cards, natural silk dying, sound bathes, meditation, crystals, breathwork, saunas, cold plunges, hot tubs and dancing with the most open hearted and new embodied group of women, I’ve been reminded of what makes my soul happiest: human connection and community. Thank you Kaitee, you are a light among lights and I love you to the moon and back 💛💛💛